No More Secrets

From Amy:

Beloved Sister, I hope the letter you are going to read today will not apply to you. I hate knowing that for many it will. But I pray the message it brings will compel you to speak out as well. Our Sisters’ team has and will be praying for your full healing and for God to bring good from all that may have been harmful and evil in your life. Suffering at the hands of abusers will never end unless those who have suffered speak up and say, “NO MORE. This stops with me.”

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, Ephesians 5:11-13

Sheriheadshot bw By Sheri Yates

I was recently compelled, after 30 long years, to write this letter.

To all of the girls who were hurt because I was silent:

When the abuse started in my home, I wanted to believe it was merely a horrific dream—a nightmare. That I would wake up the next day and simply try to forget about it. I remained silent. I hid. I hid the truth. I presented a lie to the world.

For four years, I lived this ordeal in silence—absolute silence. I never spoke a word; I never told a soul. I held my tongue and kept my secret close.

Ultimately, my silence proved selfish.

My abuser began hurting me when I was ten. Although he departed this earth 21 years ago, my failure to speak out allowed him to continue his abuse for 14 more years. It pains me today to consider whom else he hurt because I chose to hide. My silence unknowingly represented a stamp of approval on his future offenses.

Sometimes I envision faces—the faces of girls. These girls are suffering, and I wonder why. What’s holding them in bondage? What’s binding them in their prisons? When I gaze at them, I cannot help but wonder, “Was she abused by him, too?”

Now, at the age of 45, I agonize over the people who may have been hurt by him or another person because I silenced my voice!

Shame is a powerful weapon that will silence even the strongest fighter!

For my silence, I ask your forgiveness from the bottom of my heart. I’m so sorry I lacked the courage to open my mouth. I’m so sorry I did not shout from the rooftops and take action so his hands would be tied and he couldn’t hurt you. I’m so sorry I didn’t sound the horn and stop the madness. I’m so sorry I didn’t use my voice or stand up for what I knew was right. I should have never been silent!

We should never be silent! No more secrets!

Please don’t repeat my mistake. If you have been hurt, speak up! Use your God-given voice.

Love,

Sheri

Sisters Challenge:

If you are or have been abused, please don’t wait any longer. Tell someone and seek help.

Whether this message applies to you or not, help empower other sisters in Christ to end their silence by simply sharing this post. We all know this is a needed message for so many who have suffered in silence.

No more secrets.

15 thoughts on “No More Secrets

  1. Becky Grantham Johnston says:

    I am also a survivor and praise the Lord he has used me to lead many young ladies to safety. We survivors need to speak up and speak out for others that have no voice. Great article! Thanks Amy

    Liked by 1 person

  2. happyhome91 says:

    Have you heard of Speak Your Silence? An amazing ministry dedicated to tearing down the walls of silence and giving victims a voice. All the money they raise goes to pay for counseling for victims of sexual abuse. Speakyoursilence.org. Kudos to you for speaking out.

    Like

  3. Ginger says:

    I, too, am a survivor. It took me 10 years to be brave enough to tell anyone. The truth always sets you free! We have to speak up, and then be a safe place to tell the story.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Like

  4. sally says:

    I too am a survivor of sexual abuse. I admire your courage in speaking about what was so evilly done to you. Our great God is doing a great healing work in you. And through you. Please know, however, that you did not silence yourself. Your abuser did that. You were a precious little girl betrayed by someone who was supposed to love you. You cannot expect a little girl to know the things that our adult minds know now. And you cannot expect an adult survivor of sexual abuse to know and do the things that those who have not suffered that pain might know and do. Please don’t place any more guilt on yourself or other survivors. That guilt belongs to your abuser. He is responsible for your abuse and the abuse he perpetrated on anyone else. I pray for our precious Lord Jesus to continue to heal your tender, compassionate heart.

    Like

    • Amy Groeschel says:

      Love this: “Please don’t place any more guilt on yourself or other survivors. That guilt belongs to your abuser. He is responsible for your abuse and the abuse he perpetrated on anyone else” Thank you for sharing this, Sally!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. alittletosay says:

    Thank you for writing this letter. I am the mom of a victim of sexual abuse. Not in our home, but by the son of a friend. You would be surprised at how very few resources there are for moms (parents in general) of sexually abused kids. This is the most emotional rode I have ever traveled. Thanks again for posting. http://www.alittletosay.wordpress.com
    #stopthesilence

    Like

    • Jemma Stemmons says:

      I too am a mom of a child who was sexually abused. My daughter was abused by a family member and it has torn our family apart as we have tried to bring the situation to light and help not only my daughter, but the abuser. The Lord has surrounded us with amazing friends that have loved us and supported us through this difficult time. We were introduced to The CARE Center. http://carecenter-okc.org They were incredibly helpful and are there to provide free resources to victims and families. Here is our family’s story and more about The Center: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9Rdc8X-HdE I would be happy to chat with you more. We have poured ourselves into raising awareness and helping The CARE Center help more children and families. Feel free to contact me: jemmastemmons@me.com

      Like

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