Life Sucking Woman Becomes a Life-Giving Woman

By Sheri Yates

“No one will ever love you. Everyone will leave you. No one will stick around because you are such a terrible person.” Years ago, those words rang in my ears and kept me in an unhealthy relationship, clinging to their author because I longed so desperately to never be alone again.

It wasn’t my first rodeo with pain, but this one certainly roped me into a destructive lifestyle. It was a defining moment: I felt unlovable….forever unlovable.

Now, a woman with no love left in her tank is a self-centered woman. She demands love from others and is easily offended. She quits on everyone who doesn’t “add to her value”. She is impossible to understand because she is unstable and dependent upon her perception of being loved.

I was this woman.

Because I was “that woman,” every lie I shared with you at the beginning of this post became a reality. In essence, I agreed so much that it became true! Everyone left me because I sucked the life out of them by selfishly pleading for my every need to be met. Friends rejected me because I was destructive to their personal well-being.

Recognizing our flaws and failures does not disqualify us from receiving God’s extravagant love. Your enemy doesn’t want you to know that, because he doesn’t want you to find security and soul-stability in God’s love. When you have the love of God, you no longer need people’s affection to experience unconditional love. The ultimate result is that when you acknowledge and accept God’s love, you can begin to give and receive the love of others, too.

It’s impossible to give love freely until you have fully loved yourself, and loving yourself only comes from accepting God’s  love and allowing yourself to fully open up to Him. There’s a reason why the second-greatest command is to “love others as yourself!” It implies that you already love yourself!

It wasn’t until I finally knew the love of God and His complete forgiveness for my destructive choices that I felt secure enough to let go of my expectations of others to lift me up! Psalm 139 is filled with truth regarding God’s unchanging love for me…and you.

Sink deep into these words from Psalm 139. Oh how God loves you!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me
were written in your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you. Psalm 139:13-18 NIV

Do you fully love yourself? I mean truly love –  every flaw? Or do you compare yourself to others and wish you could have their hair, nose, popularity, personality,  skills, parents, spouse, career, car, or _______________ whatever – fill in the blank.

God knows you! He sees every flaw and knows your every ugly thought! Guess what?! He loves you anyway! He longs to be loved and known by you. At what point did you decide you were unlovable? Today, lay it down and receive God’s amazing, all–covering love for you!

Click here to listen to this song and let His love flow over your mind and heart.

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